|
G. Marriage as a Sacrament
"God who created man out of love also calls him
to love - the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. For
man is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love. (See Gen
1:27; 1 Jn. 4:8, 16.) Since God created him man and woman, their
mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which
God loves man." (See Catechism of the Catholic Church, no.
1604.) Not only does marriage mirror the love which God has for man, but
it also is an image of the love found in the Trinity.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church, following
St. Paul, also teaches that marriage is an image of the bond between
Christ and the Church. "Christian marriage in its turn becomes an
efficacious sign, the sacrament of the covenant of Christ and the Church.
(See Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 1617. See also the
previous paragraph, no. 1616.) Marriage as an image of God's love for man,
as an image of the Trinity, and as an image of Christ's love for the
Church, logically flows from the nature of love. As we have seen, love
always is (1) a choice (2) based on knowledge. This choice is (3) a
self-gift and this self-gift is (4) permanent and (5) life-giving. God's
love for us, the mystery of love in the Holy Trinity, and Christ's bond
with the Church, all have these five characteristics of love and so does
marriage since it is also founded on love. Therefore, human marriage is a
mirror, a sign of the way God loves us, the way He loves in the Trinity,
and the way Christ loves the Church.
However, sin intervened. Marriage is now
"threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy,
and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation." These
difficulties are the result of the first sin, original sin. "As a
break with God, the first sin had for its first consequence the rupture of
the original communion between man and woman. Their relations were
distorted by mutual recriminations; (See Gen. 3:12.) their mutual
attraction, the Creator's own gift, changed into a relationship of
domination and lust; (See Gen. 2:22, 3:16b.) and the beautiful
vocation of man and woman to be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth
was burdened by the pain of childbirth and the toil of work. (Cf. Gen.
1:28; 3:16-19.)" (See Catechism of the Catholic Church, nos.
1606-1607.)
As the Catechism indicates, it is almost
impossible for those tainted with original sin, i.e., the entire human
race with the sole exceptions of the Blessed Mother and the Lord Himself,
to love as God loves. Original sin has deprived us of the clearness of
mind, soundness of will, and integrity of the body necessary for true
love. Therefore, people might argue that it is next to impossible for us,
tainted with original sin, to live up to the requirements of authentic
love.
But the Lord does not accept this answer. In his
famous discussion of marriage and divorce with the Pharisees, the Lord
clearly makes reference to the beginning. "And Pharisees came up to
him and tested him by asking, 'Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any
cause?' He answered, 'Have you not read that he who made them from the
beginning made them male and female . . . ." (See Mt. 19:3-4.)
The reference by Christ to the "beginning" is a direct quotation
from the very first words of the Bible in Genesis, "In the beginning
. . . ." (See Gen. 1:1.) The Pharisees and other Jews
listening to Christ discuss marriage and divorce understood very clearly
that Christ was referring to the first words of Scripture when He said,
"from the beginning." He clearly is calling all married people
to love as God loves, even though they have been weakened by sin. How is
this possible, we might ask Christ. He answers us: "My grace is
sufficient for you." (See 2 Cor. 12:9.) As the Catechism teaches:
"Without his [Christ's] help man and woman cannot achieve the union
of their lives for which God created them 'in the beginning'." (See Catechism
of the Catholic Church, no. 1608.) But with His help, married people
can love as God loves. "By coming to restore the original order of
creation disturbed by sin, he himself gives the strength and grace to live
marriage in the new dimension of the Reign of God. It is by following
Christ, renouncing themselves, and taking up their crosses that spouses
will be able to 'receive' the original meaning of marriage and live it
with the help of Christ. (Cf. Mt. 19:11.) This grace of Christian
marriage is the fruit of Christ's cross, the source of all Christian
life." (See Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 1615.)
Of course, the grace of Christian marriage, this
"help" of Christ which again makes it possible for husbands and
wives to love each other as God loves, is given in the sacrament of
Matrimony. Christ raised marriage to the dignity of a sacrament in order
to give spouses the strength and grace they need to fulfill their awesome
vocation to love as God loves.
Christ instituted the sacrament of Matrimony at the
same time he performed his first "sign", at the wedding feast in
Cana. "The Church attaches great importance to Jesus’ presence at
the wedding at Cana. She sees in it the confirmation of the goodness of
marriage and the proclamation that thenceforth marriage will be an
efficacious sign [i.e., a sacrament] of Christ's presence." (See Catechism
of the Catholic Church, no. 1613.)
All the sacraments are signs which cause what they
signify. (Except the Eucharist which is what it signifies.) The
sign of the sacraments is composed of some physical matter (e.g., the
water in Baptism) and words which are said. The sign of the sacrament of
Matrimony is the physical presence of the bride and the groom and the vows
which they, with full knowledge and consent, promise to each other. In
other words, the bride and groom confer the sacrament on one another. The
Church's representative, usually a priest or a deacon, is simply a witness
to the sacrament.
The sign of the sacrament of Matrimony, the bride
and the groom saying the vows to one another, obviously signifies a union
and it causes a union in the depths of their souls. Christ unites the
couple in Christian marriage and so at every wedding there are truly three
present (in addition to the Church's representative): the bride, the
groom, and Christ. The grace given in the sacrament of Matrimony empowers
husbands and wives to love each other as Christ loves us. Even wounded by
sin, human beings are still called to imitate the Blessed Trinity by
forming a family. The sacrament creates a union between the spouses in
Christ. Their two hearts are made one in Christ and so they are empowered
to love authentically.
The union created by the celebration of the
sacrament of Matrimony has the five characteristics of love. It is created
through the choice of the two spouses which, in turn, is founded on the
knowledge that they each have of their own dignity and that of their
spouse. It is a choice to give themselves to each other in a permanent and
life-giving relationship. In the questions put to the bride and groom
before the actual vows, the priest (or deacon, bishop, or other
representative of the Church) asks the couple, "Have you come here
freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in
marriage?" Clearly, the bride and groom are giving themselves to one
another. The couple is then asked, "Will you love and honor each
other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?" and finally, they
are asked, "Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring
them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?" (See The
Rites of the Catholic Church, vol. 1, Rite of Marriage, no.
24.) Clearly, the spouses have a choice and they consent. Further, no one
would consent to such promises without some knowledge of oneself and the
intended partner. Further, the couple give themselves to one another. The
couple promises permanence and also an openness to life. The five
characteristics of love are clearly present in the vows.
Implicit in the promises of the bride and groom is
the promise of fidelity to one another. Marriage, of its very nature,
binds each partner exclusively to the other. During the celebration of the
sacrament, the couple says to one another, "I promise to be true to
you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you
and honor you all the days of my life." (See the Rites of the
Catholic Church, vol. 1, Rite of Marriage, no. 25.) To be
"true" to one another and to "honor" one another
requires a fidelity to each other. Spouses clearly understand that in
entering marriage, they are promising to be united exclusively with their
marriage partner until death.
So, marital love involves a "totality, in which
all the elements of the person enter." Marital love "aims at a
deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to
forming one heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness
in definitive mutual giving; and it is open to fertility. (See
FC 13.)" (See Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 1643. See
also, See John Paul II, The Apostolic Exhortation on the Family, Familiaris
Consortio," no. 13.)
Of course, it is important to remember that marriage
is a path to holiness, a vocation to which people are called by God as a
way of living out their pilgrimage here on earth. Marriage exists as a
means of sanctification, as all the sacraments do. Marriage is, therefore,
a path to heaven, a way of coming to holiness for each member of the
family. Marriage partners are to help each other (in other words, love
each other) to come to the glory of heaven. " Through the sacrament
of Matrimony couples are to "help one another to attain holiness in
their married life and in welcoming and educating their children. (See LG
11, para. 2; cf. LG 41.)" (See Catechism of the
Catholic Church, no. 1641.)
(Rev.) Richard M. Hogan
June 15, 1999
Back to NFP Library |
