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Getting Beyond "I
Can’t"
By Fr. Daniel McCaffrey, STD and Fr. Matthew Habiger,
OSB, PhD
With an addendum of questions and answers by Archbishop Charles
J. Chaput, OFM Cap
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We travel the
entire United States of America proclaiming the Gospel of Life as it
pertains to God’s plan for spousal love. This plan calls for a total
gift of self to one’s spouse and the acceptance of her total gift of
self in kind. Contraception makes such an unconditional gift
impossible. Natural Family Planning fosters these values, and
cooperates with them.
Everywhere we go
we find married couples asking, "Why won’t our priests address the
issue of contraception and sterilization from the pulpit?" Having
heard these frustrated questions many times, we think it is time to
list the top eight excuses given by priests and our answers to them:
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"Talking
about contraception and sterilization would scandalize the
children in the congregation. Thus, I can’t deal with them at
the pulpit."
But Jesus didn’t
have such reservations. When he was addressing large crowds he
talked about sexual sins. Recall the Sermon on the Mount (Mt 5:27).
Children are not offended by a teaching on God’s plan for spousal
love. Rather, they are the victims of silence at the pulpit. People
get hurt when there is confusion about right and wrong, and there is
a great confusion today about the moral evil of contraception and
sterilization. Children do not understand the language we use when
discussing capital punishment, euthanasia, or experimentation on
human embryos. They take from a homily what they need. If they have
questions, they can ask their parents for an explanation suited to
their level of comprehension.
Refusing to
address major moral issues at the pulpit, in effect, makes infants
of the entire congregation, who often do not know that contraception
and sterilization are wrong, and do not understand why they are
wrong. Today we have many adults who are seriously immature in the
development of their conscience.
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"It’s
okay to talk about these matters in RCIA, marriage preparation
classes and to provide pamphlets on these issues in the
vestibule, but not at the pulpit."
But this
approach misses the point. "These times call for people who will
look the truth in the eye, and call things by their proper names,
without yielding to convenient compromise or to the temptation of
self-deception" (Evangelium Vitae 57). Important issues
cannot be censored from the pulpit. If a message does not happen at
the pulpit, it doesn’t happen. There is great ignorance among
Catholics about the morality of contraception and sterilization.
Very few understand why these choices and acts are immoral. Many
people think that if a topic is not treated at the pulpit, where it
is heard by all, then it is not important and can be ignored. RCIA
classes, marriage prep classes, and the pamphlet rack are good ways
to supplement teaching from the pulpit, but can never replace it.
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"These
issues are contentious. They will produce strife and discord."
But this means
that the priest, as a moral guide, cannot provide moral guidance
where it is most needed. If people already understand an issue, like
slavery for example, and do not dispute it, then there is no need to
address it from the pulpit. But if many people are violating the 5th
and 6th Commandments, do not know it, and can’t
understand why these acts are sinful, then we priests must address
the issue. Not to address them is reprehensible negligence on our
part. We must inform conscience by proposing moral truth. The
approach we use is that of Jesus: we speak the truth in charity, and
with conviction and forthrightness. If we allow the Gospel to be
silenced because we refuse to accept criticism from those who reject
Gospel values, then we fail in our priesthood. It is not our Gospel.
We are not at liberty to decide what parts of the Gospel are too
hard to accept, and can be ignored. Contraception and sterilization
are serious matters, and they are causing much harm to our
marriages, our families and to our young people.
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"Collections
will go down."
This is
factually untrue. But beyond that, we members of the clergy must
anticipate the criteria our Lord will use to evaluate our pastoral
care of the flock entrusted to our care. The main criterion will not
be "Did you get all the bills paid and have a smooth running
operation?" Rather, it will be "Did you guide my people into a
knowledge of my ways, my Gospel, and into a love for the splendor of
the truth?" Paying bills is not high on the list of pastoral
success. The qualities of a CEO are not those of being a priest.
Bringing people to the person, heart and mind of the Lord is what is
essential. God does not demand success from us in terms of our
people’s response to good moral teaching. He does demand that we
faithfully propose and teach the values that comport well with our
dignity as bodied persons. God’s plan for human sexuality, marriage
and family are an essential part of the Gospel of Life in these
times.
Priests who have
consistently proposed the values of Humanae Vitae, Familiaris
Consortio and Evangelium Vitae will tell you that their
collections have not collapsed. Instead, the parish has learned the
meaning of a spirit of generosity, and that is reflected in parish
contributions as well as volunteer service to various parish
organizations. Couples who practice NFP are very often the most
generous volunteers in the parish. Couples open to life are also
open to giving their children to the priesthood and religious life.
If they are caught up in the contraceptive culture, then they will
likely not be generous with God by accepting His invitation to their
sons and daughters.
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"People
will go to another church because they don’t want to hear this."
Sad to say, not
every parish is on the same page when dealing with matters of
sexuality, marriage and the family. Some parishes simply ignore
whatever is politically incorrect. They allow dissenting elements
within the parish to determine what parts of the Gospel can be
proclaimed there. This, in turn, means that forces within the
secular society exert an influence over some parishioners, who bring
that to bear upon the entire parish. Instead of being
counter-cultural, such a parish becomes a mere reflection of the
secular culture.
But this is the
land of the free and the home of the brave. What is there to prevent
a clergyman from proclaiming God’s beautiful plan for human love,
life, marriage and family? We are not to worry about those who may
reject the truth and leave. Our Lord did not change his teaching
about the Eucharist when many in His audience found this a hard
saying and walked away. He respected their freedom, and let them
walk. But they had to respect His freedom also and His
responsibility to proclaim the message the Father gave Him, which is
for the life of the world. If all the clergy were clearly teaching
good moral principles, then our people would not go shopping for the
preacher who suits their ears.
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"When
the bishop talks about it, I’ll begin to talk about it."
One can
understand why a priest or deacon would hesitate to take the
initiative in teaching values that have been largely ignored since
1968. We have a right to expect our spiritual fathers, the bishops,
to lead by their example in addressing these serious matters. This
is their duty as moral guides and spiritual leaders of a diocese.
They are to be the good shepherd for the entire diocese. But what
happens if they do not speak out? Is the pastor justified in keeping
silent? When we priests die, the Lord will not ask you "What did the
bishop do?" He will ask, "What did you do? You are the pastor of
your people."
Our priesthood
comes from the Lord, not from another human being. Our obligations
go to the Lord, before they go to any of His human representatives.
God holds us accountable for what we do, for our choices and
actions, and taking responsibility for ourselves and our people.
True leadership means that we address the real needs of our times,
regardless of what others are not doing. Reprehensible negligence
does not justify other reprehensible negligence. Perhaps what needs
to be done in a diocese where the bishop chooses not to address
these issues is to have many of the clergy give him their assurance
that they will support his giving a public teaching. Perhaps the
bishop is concerned that if he takes any initiative in these
matters, then his clergy will publicly refuse to comply, as happened
when Humanae Vitae was first promulgated. Everyone admires
leadership, but where will leadership arise? We think that the good
Lord expects all of us to be spiritual and moral leaders.
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"I’m
not prepared to speak about these issues because I wasn’t
trained in the seminary
for this."
We find that
many clergy are woefully unprepared to address these issues. They
have not kept up with their reading and personal ongoing formation
in the areas of human sexuality, chastity and marriage. But this is
not an acceptable excuse. What other profession would be excused
from professional ongoing formation, keeping abreast with
contemporary developments in their profession? If medical doctors
did not keep themselves updated, they would lose their license to
practice medicine. Can it be any different for the clergy?
There are
excellent materials available today to help us understand the beauty
of God’s plan for human love, and especially marital love. There is
Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body; there is Christian
Personalism. There are the writings of reliable moral theologians.
There are the writings, CDs and videotapes of Dr. Janet Smith. There
are the testimonies of thousands of married couples that have
discovered the blessings that these values have brought into their
marriages and families. Two readily available sources for materials
on Natural Family Planning and the harms of contraception and
sterilization are One More Soul (www.OMSoul.com) and the Couple to
Couple League International (www.ccli.org). CCL provides three-day
clergy conferences twice a year at Covington,
Kentucky.
NFP Outreach (www.nfpoutreach.org) helps design and conduct clergy
conferences for entire dioceses on the topic of "How to Present the
Values of NFP From the Pulpit." There are many good Catholic doctors
who are willing to bring their expertise to these conferences. And
there are hundreds of married couples that are willing to give their
testimonies about the values of NFP in their marriages.
Ignorance was
never a good excuse for justifying neglect. And it will not wash
today in areas that are so vital to good marriages and happy
families.
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"The
recent clergy sex scandals make it impossible for me to talk
about sex today. I have no credibility."
This is very
much the intent of some forces in the secular society, which want to
muzzle the pulpits on matters of sexual morality. They don’t want us
to teach about God’s plan for human sexuality. But there is no such
thing as a moral vacuum. If good morality is not being taught, then
other varieties of sexual ideology will be taught. We see it today
in the push for acceptance of single sex marriages, in safe sex for
our young people, and in trivializing committed relationships.
The clergy sex
scandals call for greater, not less, emphasis upon sexual morality.
If there had been greater clarity on these matters from the pulpit
in the past, then everyone would know the standards, which apply to
everyone, and we would have been spared much grief. Our young people
would not have been victimized. Dioceses would not be in danger of
bankruptcy. Respect for the clergy would not be at an all time low.
Bishops would not be faulted for their lack of oversight. Scandals
erupt when there is no clarity of moral teaching coming from the
pulpit. Our times call for more, not less, moral teaching from the
pulpit.
Both the clergy
and the laity have to clean up their act. The abuse of young people
by 4% of the clergy is indeed a scandal. The abuse of sexuality by
80% of Catholic couples that are using birth control, or are
sterilized, is also a great scandal. Before one group can throw
stones at the other, they must first clean up their act. God is
chastising his people because of violations against His sexual code.
He chastises the clergy by not providing vocations to religious life
and the priesthood. He chastises the laity by weak marriages, a 50%
divorce rate, lots of unhappiness, and children who bear the brunt
of their parent’s selfishness. So both the clergy and the laity need
to hold the other accountable. We are not beating up on each other;
rather, we are confronting the truth together.
The
responsibility of the clergy and the religious is to hand on the
deposit of the Faith as preached by the Apostles, which includes
teaching moral truths. To explain why God’s plan is so good for us,
and so deserving of our efforts to comply with it. The
responsibility of the laity is to integrate good moral principles
into their lives and actions. Then they are to take these values out
into the broader society, and help shape the culture with these
Gospel values. This is part of the new evangelization.
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In
Conclusion
Perhaps it
could be said that contraception also applies to us priests
today. We may be willing to speak about the love-giving
dimensions of the Gospel, but are unwilling to address its
life-giving dimensions. We know, however, that love without life
is sterile. And we know that real love is demonstrated by our
willingness to be totally "for" our people, which may also
involve suffering occasional rejection and criticism. The Gospel
is one of life, as well as of love. Because He loves us, Jesus
was willing to lay down his life for us, so that we could have
life to the full. Are not we priests, then, to foster life and
greater life among our people, in an age which is characterized
as a culture of death? We should not be contracepting the Gospel
of its life-giving dimensions.
We priests
may think it will be difficult for our people to give up
contraception and adopt pure spousal love. But will it not also
be difficult for us to give up our contraceptive approach to the
Gospel? With God’s grace, and with an openness to conversion,
all of this is possible.
There
are no reasons today that would justify a continued silence
at the pulpit about matters of sexual morality, especially
in the areas of contraception and sterilization. Begin your
search for good materials for reading and reflection.
Integrate these values into your own spirituality, and then
you will develop your own way to articulate them in your
preaching and moral counseling.
Addendum
What follows is a set of questions and answers that Archbishop
Charles Chaput published in his diocesan newspaper after he
issued his pastoral letter Of Human Life in 1998. They
provide some excellent material for reflection, and you might even
consider using some of Archbishop Chaput’s quotes from the pulpit.
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Isn’t a
couple’s method of family planning a matter of personal
conscience?
Yes it is. Catholics, like all people, are always obligated to
follow their consciences — on birth control and every other matter.
But that’s not where the problem lies. The problem lies in the
formation of one’s conscience. A conscientious person seeks to do
good and avoid evil. Seeing the difference between good and evil,
though, can sometimes be difficult. As Pope John Paul II has said,
the basic moral law is written in the human heart because we’re
created in the image and likeness of God. But we bear the wounds of
original sin, which garbles the message and dims our ability to
judge and act according to truth. Truth is objective. In other
words, it’s real, is independent of us, and exists whether we like
it or not. Therefore, conscience can’t invent right and wrong.
Rather, conscience is called to discover the truth of right and
wrong, and then to submit personal judgments to the truth once it is
found. Church teaching on the regulation of births, like all her
moral teachings, is a sure guide for forming our consciences
according to the truth. For we have the certainty of faith, as
Vatican II reminds us, that the teachings of the Church on matters
of faith and morals are “not the mere word of men, but truly the
word of God.” (Lumen Gentium n. 12) Too often, we use “conscience”
as a synonym for private preference, a kind of pious alibi for doing
what we want or taking the easy road. We only end up hurting others
and ourselves.
2. I still don’t see the big difference between a couple using
“artificial” birth control and a couple using “natural” family
planning. Don’t both couples have the same intention, and isn’t
this what determines morality?
It’s
hard to see the difference when the emphasis is placed on
“artificial” versus “natural” methods. People rightly point out that
many things we use are artificial but not immoral. So it’s important
to realize that the Church doesn’t oppose artificial birth control
because it’s artificial. Rather, what the Church opposes is
any method of birth control which is contraceptive,
whether artificial devices, pills, etc., are used or not.
Contraception is the choice, by any means, to sterilize a given
act of intercourse. In other words, a contracepting couple
chooses to engage in intercourse and, knowing that it may result in
a new life, they intentionally and willfully suppress their
fertility. Herein lies a key distinction: Natural family
planning (NFP) is in no way contraceptive. The choice to
abstain from a fertile act of intercourse is completely
different from the willful choice to sterilize a fertile act
of intercourse. NFP simply accepts from God’s hand the natural cycle
of infertility that He has built into the nature of woman.
Regarding the issue of intention: Yes, both couples may have the
same end in mind — to avoid pregnancy. But the means
to achieve their common goal are not at all alike. Take, for
example, two students, each of whom intends to excel in school.
Obviously that’s a very good intention. With the same goal in mind,
one studies diligently. The other cheats on every test. The point
is, the end doesn’t justify the means — in getting an education, in
regulating births, or in anything else.
3. I’m a priest. If I preach about what’s wrong with
contraception, I’ll lose people.
Let me turn that around: If priests don’t preach the Church’s
message about contraception, heaven
loses people.
Don’t be afraid.
When Jesus preached the truth, He lost people. But, little by
little, He gained even more people. Take courage in the Lord. It
shouldn’t surprise us that people find this teaching hard to accept.
Every Gospel-based life has things which are hard to accept.
Should we stop teaching the truth because it’s difficult? Of course
not. We have the joy and the responsibility before God to preach the
truth lovingly in season and out of season. The Church won’t be
renewed without a renewal of family life. And the family can’t be
renewed without a return to the truths taught in
Humanae
Vitae.
Ignoring
this issue can’t be an option: In the long run, its cost is too
high. Therefore, we should make every effort to better understand
the importance of Church teaching in this regard, and witness to it
boldly and with confidence.
4. In your pastoral letter, you said that the most intimate,
powerful part of each person is his or her fertility. My husband
and I are unable to have children. What does this mean for us?
Many couples bear a great cross because, despite their openness to
life, they’re unable to have children. But marital love is always
life-giving when spouses give themselves honestly to each other,
even if a child isn’t conceived. Only when husband and wife
intentionally withhold their fertility, or abuse their sexuality in
some other way, can we speak of a “life-less” act of intercourse.
Spouses’ self-giving in one flesh remains the most intimate,
powerful and life-giving expression of their love for one another,
even when nature, or some problem of nature, prevents new life from
being conceived. Medical technology can sometimes correct a physical
problem, allowing a child to be conceived by the loving embrace of
parents. This is a proper and wonderful use of technology. However,
couples should remember that, as creatures themselves, they’re not
the arbiters of human life. Ultimately, no one is free to manipulate
the conception of a human person. No matter how sincere a couple’s
intentions, many of today’s new procreative techniques treat
human life as a product that can be manufactured — and in doing so,
they violate human dignity. Again, the end never justifies the
means.
Children aren’t the only way a marriage can be fruitful. If God, in
His design, closes one option for a couple, He will open another.
Their love can find expression in adoption, foster-parenting, or
dozens of forms of apostolic work. This kind of counsel, of course,
is much easier to give than to willingly accept. I would never want
to understate the real pain and loss felt by infertile couples. But
I know, both from faith and from my friendships with married couples
over the years, that if a husband and wife choose to trust God,
their love will always be rewarded with fertility and new life — if
not in the form of a child, then in the way they impact the world
around them.
5. Why is the Church so obsessed with sex?
You know the old saying about the pot calling the kettle black —
well, here’s a great example. Questions like this one may very well
be honest, but they conceal where the real obsessions lie. American
society is drowning in a sea of disordered sexuality. In such
circumstances, it’s hardly an “obsession” for the Church to speak
clearly and forcefully about how to swim. It’s her responsibility
and mission.
God created our sexuality to be a sign in the world of His own life
and love, and to reveal to us that we can only fulfill ourselves by
loving as He loves. When sexuality becomes distorted, however, it’s
no longer able to communicate God’s life and love. Empty of true
love, life lacks meaning, and people soon seem disposable. Sex
becomes a pursuit of selfish gratification at the expense of others.
Children are no longer welcomed as the natural fruit of married
love, but are seen as a burden to be avoided. We don’t even shrink
from killing (through abortion) thousands of innocent preborn lives
a day in satisfying our convenience and appetites.
It’s no exaggeration, then, to say that disordered sexuality is the
beginning of what Pope John Paul II calls “the culture of death.” In
fact, we’ll never build a culture of life and love without first
restoring the true meaning of human sexuality. If the Church is so
concerned about sex, it’s because she seeks to defend the dignity of
the human person and to safeguard the true meaning of life and love,
which sexuality is meant to reveal.
6. How can I preach against contraception and praise the virtues
of NFP? As a priest, I’m not married.
First, the truth is the truth, no matter who speaks it. Second,
preaching isn’t about the preacher; it’s about the message. Third,
in his promise of celibacy, a priest doesn’t forget or deny his
sexuality. Instead, he dedicates it to a different — but equally
fertile — kind of fruitfulness. In other words, priestly celibacy is
an affirmation, not a rejection; a strength, not a weakness. It’s a
“yes” to God, which enables us to understand and serve our people
better.
Remember that marriage, religious life, the single vocation, and the
priesthood are all designed to fit together and complement each
other in the life of the Church. Each needs the other. Each, in its
own proper way, fulfills the fundamental human vocation to give
ourselves away in love. I think we priests often underestimate how
effective our pastoral counsel can be on issues like contraception.
People want and need the truth, and over time, the human heart
naturally responds to it. But our people can’t respond if they don’t
hear the message of
Humanae
Vitae
faithfully and persuasively from their pastors.
That’s our job, and we should embrace it joyfully.
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