|
[It is
easy to adapt this homily to the readings of the Sunday since it
deals with God’s plan for marriage and spousal love. Recall that
God is love, and that Christ’s love for his bride, the Church, is
the model for all marriages.]
-- From your
supporting priests at NFP Outeach:
www.nfpoutreach.org
Outline:
-
God’s
plan for marriage and current situation
-
God’s
plan can be known, and lived
-
Making
the total gift of self
-
How NFP
helps couples to maintain their total gift of self in openness
to both love and life
-
Additional benefits coming from the NFP way of life
-
Where
to find instruction and information on NFP
Everyone
wants a strong marriage and a healthy, happy family. That is
what God wants for us too. Marriage is the vocation for the vast
majority of the human race. You want a strong marriage because you
won’t be happy unless there is a lot of love, trust, devotion, and
commitment in your marriage. And if parents love each other, then
their children feel very secure because the foundation that supports
them, which is marriage, is secure.
As God
designed marriage, it takes a lifetime to fulfill one. You can’t
accomplish a marriage in ten or fifteen years. In fact, at the 25th
silver anniversary, a couple should be moving into the richest years
of their relationship together. Marriage is an intimate communion
of love and life where a husband and wife share each other’s
destiny, and face the challenges of life together. When marriage is
lived well, the couple finds more to love and give of themselves as
the years progress. That is why being a widow, or widower, can be
so difficult. The survivor feels like a large portion of their life
has been torn from him or her.
Our culture
has deviated a long way from God’s plan for marriage and spousal
love. It is very sad to say, but there is now a 50% divorce rate
among Catholics in this country, which reflects the culture at
large. That is not God’s plan for marriage. We all know
that a great deal of pain and emotional scars result from a divorce,
both for the couple and for their children. There is no such thing
as “fault-free,” or “pain-free” divorce. Because of the high
divorce rate, many young couples put off marriage or simply
cohabitate. Nationwide, there is now an 80% cohabitation rate among
young Catholics. This is not God’s plan for young couples.
85% of Catholic couples of childbearing years today are either using
some form of contraception or are sterilized. This is not God’s
plan for spousal love. When we deviate from God’s plan for
marriage and spousal love, we simply reflect the values of the
surrounding culture, and everyone gets hurt.
Happiness
comes when we know God’s plan for the important matters of life,
and then we put this plan into practice. Freedom means that
we are free to pursue the good, the right, and the true. We abuse
our freedom when we choose to reject our commitments, walk away from
our responsibilities, attempt to redefine marriage and spousal love,
and simply reflect the values of the secular culture.
If we want to
be happy, then we need to know God’s plan for marriage, for spousal
love and for the family. And this plan can be known! God
wants it to be known! He gives it to us in divine revelation (think
of Genesis 2 and Matthew 19), in the constant teaching of the Church
over the centuries, and through the use of good reason. If you
think about it for a while, you realize that human nature has not
changed much over the centuries; neither have basic human realities
like marriage, spousal love, and families.
Marriage,
according to God’s plan, is meant to be permanent and requires total
fidelity. It is “until death do us part.” Spousal love, as
God designed it, is always to remain open to the goodness of love
and life. We seriously distort the spousal act if we turn against,
or remove, one of these values. The family is a group of
people who are intimately involved with one another, where each
person is accepted completely for the unique individual he or she
is. A family is where a person discovers who he is, and finds all
the support and encouragement he needs to develop his personality.
There is a
lot of confusion in our society about what the spousal act is.
Playboy, Planned Parenthood, and much of our popular entertainment
regard the spousal act as a form of recreation, free of any lasting
consequences. There are just two requirements: 1) don’t get
pregnant, and 2) don’t catch a sexually transmitted disease. But
this view falls way short of God’s plan for the spousal act.
It is
important to point out that I did not design human sexuality, nor
did you, nor did Hollywood, nor did the Catholic Church. God
alone designed human sexuality, and all the other important
dimensions of our human nature. He has a plan. We can know that
plan. And we can put that plan into our lives. It is completely
doable.
God’s plan
for spousal love is that a spouse (let’s say Adam) makes the
total personal gift of himself to his beloved (to Eve). He gives
himself totally: nothing held back; no conditions, and no
reservations. He makes the total gift of himself and this includes
his fertility. That is what the spousal act expresses, and that is
what it accomplishes. Eve accepts that gift to her. Then she, in
turn, makes the total gift of herself to her spouse, to Adam. She
loves him with every dimension of her being: with her whole heart,
her body, her mind, her will, her total person, and this includes
her fertility. When a couple shares in the spousal act, they are
renewing their marriage commitment and they are nourishing their
love for each other, the love that sustains their marriage and their
family. As God designed it, every spousal act is to be open to
goodness of love and to the goodness of life.
Responsible
parenthood is also part of marriage. This means that parents
have as many children as they can responsibly take care of. This
usually means, not always but usually, more than two children. God
wants couples to give intelligent direction to their families, which
includes the spacing of the pregnancies. But He wants them to
always use morally good means, means that never turn against one of
the intrinsic values of the spousal act.
This is the
role of Natural Family Planning. Natural Family Planning (NFP)
allows a couple to responsibly plan their family without rejecting,
or turning against, any of the essential values of their spousal
act.
When a couple
knows NFP thoroughly, and applies it correctly, it is 99% effective
as a means of spacing pregnancies. That is very effective!
NFP requires that the couple abstain from the spousal act during
their fertile periods. Periodic abstinence is completely doable.
And there are many benefits that come from using NFP. Because of
all the values and virtues associated with it, NFP is more than a
method of family planning; it is a way of life.
According to
Mary Shivanandan, associate dean at the Pontifical John Paul II
Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family at the Catholic
University of America in Washington, D.C., “couples who use NFP
report increased intimacy, greater communication, an improved sexual
relationship and a spiritual awakening or deepening of an already
active spiritual sense.”
Pope Paul VI,
in his encyclical Humanae Vitae, tells us the advantages
of the self-mastery that NFP requires: “Discipline imbues love
with a deeper human meaning. Although this requires continuous
effort, it also helps the spouses become strong in virtue and makes
them rich with spiritual goods. And this virtue fosters the fruits
of tranquility and peace in the home and helps in the solving of
difficulties of other kinds. It aids spouses in becoming more
tender with each other and more attentive to each other. It assists
them in dispelling that inordinate self-love that is opposed to true
charity. It strengthens in them an awareness of their
responsibilities. And finally it provides parents with a sure and
efficacious authority for educating their children (in the virtue of
chastity)” (HV #21). You all should read
Humanae Vitae. Go
to GOOGLE and type in Humanae Vitae.
We began this
homily by saying that everyone wants a strong marriage and a
healthy, happy family. If we follow God’s plan for marriage,
spousal love and family, we shall be as happy as this is possible in
this fallen world. The last word goes to Fr. Dan McCaffrey, founder
of NFP Outreach: “That doesn’t mean NFP is a panacea. It brings its
own crosses and tensions, but through perseverance and continued
love it increases the bond between a man and woman. It demonstrates
a love for one another that they are willing to sacrifice and put
their will on hold to do the will of God. That brings its own
rewards.”
On this NFP
Sunday, I whole-heartedly encourage every couple here to learn, and
live, NFP. For local information, see …………………………… For a listing of
all the major NFP providers in the country, go to NFP Outreach’s
website (www.nfpoutreach.org).
For a discussion of questions people have about NFP, go to GOOGLE
and type in Experts Answer Catholic Faith Questions on EWTN,
and the click on NFP.
|
