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PRINTED IN HOMILETIC & PASTORAL REVIEW - AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2011
In
this article we wish to explain why every parish, or cluster of
smaller parishes, needs to have several trained Natural Family
Planning teachers. Both of us have been ordained for more than forty
years and possess doctorates in moral theology, and we wish to bring
this background to the service of contemporary parishes. We are
spending our priesthood in this way because it saddens us to see how
half of marriages among Catholics today end in divorce, and how
Catholics today reflect the mores of the surrounding secular culture
more than the teachings of their holy Church.
We live in a
fault-free divorce culture, where either of the spouses can initiate
a divorce and carry it to completion despite the objections of the
other spouse. Think of what all of this does to the spouses and
their sense of commitment to God’s plan for marriage. Consider the
trauma and pain inflicted upon their children.
If our marriages lack
irrevocable commitment to marriage and spousal love, then there is
not a strong foundation for healthy, happy families and a healthy
society.
That is why we must
give serious attention to the retrieval of God’s plan for marriage,
spousal love and family in all our parishes. Of what value are the
many and various programs in a parish if marriages are falling apart
and families are fractured?
We promote NFP because
it encapsulates all the many values that go into strong marriages
and healthy, happy families. Relying on well-established signs of
fertility, NFP is a method of spacing pregnancies presupposing an
understanding, and an active pursuit, of God’s plan for marriage,
spousal intimacy, and the human family. Our society’s acceptance of
contraception leads to the fading of the perception that the sexual
act has anything to do with the procreation of children. The
perception that sexuality is not connected to reproduction gives
rise to the concept of “recreational sex.” Sexual intercourse is
regarded primarily as a source of pleasure. Since “nothing can
happen,” i.e., no baby can be conceived, sexual activity is not
confined to marriage.
This leads to
increased promiscuity, adultery and prostitution, and to perverse
sexual practices, including homosexual practices, which are even
proclaimed as ideal because they are 100 percent sterile. All these
practices lead to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases,
including AIDS. If there can be sex without babies, there can be
babies without sex. The separation of the procreative from the
unitive aspects of the sexual act through contraception has prepared
the way for artificial reproduction. The first step was in vitro
fertilization. Further steps followed quickly: selective reduction
of embryos, the implantation of embryos from a third person,
surrogate motherhood, experimentation with surplus or deliberately
produced embryos, pre-implantation diagnostics and cloning. Abortion
and artificial reproduction leads to contempt for life, which opens
the way for euthanasia.
In the practice of
contraception the spouses do violence to one another in that they
tend to regard one another as a source of pleasure. The mutual
rejection of fertility implies a (subconscious) personal rejection
of each other. This burdens the marriage and often leads to divorce,
which in its turn means suffering for the children. Society becomes
dysfunctional and violence proliferates.
Non-traditional
“families”—such as single and divorced women with children, families
with children from two or even three sets of parents, and same-sex
unions with children—become acceptable, hence weakening the
traditional family.
Husband and wife no
longer regard each other with awe as a gift of God, entrusted to one
another for life, but as a source of pleasure, which can be
manipulated as required, rendered as needed. Children are no longer
seen as gifts and blessings of God, but as objects, which we have a
right to destroy. It is presumed that children can be produced,
selected, rejected, killed, cloned and designed to order. The
Creator is rejected and man arrogantly arrogates to himself the
place of God. It is blasphemy, which cries to high Heaven and which
will one day lead to disaster.
The healing of society
requires the abolition of the widespread practice of contraception
and sterilization. The Catholic Church is the only body that
consistently opposes contraception, so it should be a priority for
bishops and priests to promote chastity both outside and within
marriage. If this is done consistently, it will eventually have an
effect on society as a whole.
We should be aware
that contraception is being vigorously promoted for commercial and
ideological reasons. The regulation of conception can be achieved by
means of the natural methods, of the way God created the body and
soul to act.
For only with the Lord
at the center of marriage and every marital act can we begin to
foster a positive attitude toward the holiness of marriage, the
beauty of children and the role of faith within our families. This
is why every parish, or cluster of small parishes, needs a set of
NFP teachers. If we are to begin to cut into the 50 percent divorce
rate among our people, then we must address the 85 percent
contraceptive rate, and now 40 percent sterilization rate, among
Catholic couples of childbearing age. This will be a massive effort,
and will require the cooperation of many parties.
Fortunately, this is a
team effort, and there are many players available.
Pastors must take the
initiative. The life of faith is lived and promoted primarily at the
parish level. Either the faith is fostered at the parish level, or
it simply does not happen. Thus pastors cannot push off these
responsibilities to the chancery. The chancery exists to serve the
needs of the parish. It cannot replace the pastor. The retrieval of
a pro-marriage, pro-spousal love and pro-family culture in a parish
begins with the efforts of the priests.
We were ordained to
proclaim God’s plan for marriage, spousal love and family to God’s
people, and to provide the sacraments by which they receive the
grace to live their lives with zeal and sanctity. The people must
hear God’s remarkable plan from the pulpit: preaching God’s plan
with conviction is a pastor’s first responsibility in promoting
strong marriages (and there is a wealth of material available for
this pulpit work).
We priests need to
recall Pope Paul VI’s reassuring challenge to us in Humanae Vitae:
“So beloved Sons, preach with full confidence and be certain that
the Holy Spirit of God, who guides the Magisterium in its teaching,
will illuminate the hearts of the faithful and invite them to give
their assent.”
This means that God is
the primary power at work in all faithful preaching, and that we can
be assured he will not disappoint us if we are his faithful
laborers. As Pope Paul VI reminded us a bit later: “Refusal to
compromise anything concerning the saving doctrine of Christ is an
outstanding act of charity to souls; yet at the same time it is
necessary always to combine this with patience and goodness” (Humanae
Vitae §29).
A pastor has great
resources at his disposal in the parish. There are many gifted and
faith-filled couples who will respond to the need, once they are
convinced that the parish is making a serious effort to build up
strong marriages and happy families. A pastor has only to reach out
to these couples and invite them to become NFP teachers. A typical
parish needs several NFP teaching couples, ,as we shall explain
shortly. These couples should have strong marriages, be relatively
young and living their faith, and be willing to witness to this. NFP
teaching couples need to be thoroughly trained in the art of NFP.
They can seek their
formation from any of the major providers of NFP in this county (see
our website for contact information: www.nfpoutreach.org). The
parish should cover all the expenses incurred while they
become certified
teachers. This will become their apostolate. The very least the
parish can do is to cover their expenses for becoming certified
instructors.
The marriage
preparation program needs the full program of NFP. It is not enough
to simply provide an introductory session on NFP during the marriage
prep program. The pastor should explain to young couples, “If you
are contracepting, I’m not going to marry you in the Church. A
contracepting arrangement is not a consummated marriage. I don’t
want to enable you to sin. If you don’t believe in this, then you
are not a Catholic.” This means that any couple preparing for
marriage must be prepared to use a morally good means of spacing
pregnancies, when there are holy and justifying reasons for doing
this. This begins too with our RCIA candidates, who need to hear
about the remedy for contraception.
RCIA candidates should
affirm the Church’s teaching on contraception.
Nationwide, there is a
60 percent dropout rate among RCIA people received into the Church.
What is the advantage of providing an incomplete RCIA program, with
such a dropout rate? This issue needs to be clearly addressed. This
means that RCIA couples of childbearing age must also learn NFP by
taking the prescribed four to five classes. Juniors and seniors in
the parish religious education program should know the basics about
NFP and chastity. Fertility awareness and appreciation is very
important, especially for this age group. This means more work for
the parish NFP teachers. Contraception reaches into our high schools
and middle schools. If our teenagers do not appreciate God’s plan
for sex and marriage, and why sex is to be saved for marriage, then
they become easy victims of the dominant culture.
Less than 5 percent of
Catholic couples practice NFP. The vast majority of Catholic couples
knows almost nothing about NFP, and will need to find instruction
when they realize that contraception is seriously sinful. That means
more work for the parish NFP teaching couples, and for the priests
who must evangelize them.
This is a joint
effort. The laity can’t do the priest’s work, nor can the priest do
the laity’s work. The pastor must proclaim God’s plan for marriage
and spousal love. The people must see that their pastor passionately
believes in this. In his preaching the pastor must explain the
rationale of NFP, the beauty of God’s plan for human love and
sexuality as provided in Humanae Vitae and Familiaris Consortio, and
draw upon some of the helpful insights in the Theology of the Body.
Then the people will
become more open to God’s plan. Only then can our teachers teach the
methodology of NFP to a receptive audience. To bring about the
obedience of faith, both aspects—the theological and the
methodological— must be applied. One cannot function without the
other.
It is our experience
that couples who practice NFP are very generous people. They
demonstrate generosity in their marriages and their families. They
become the parish’s best and most sustained volunteers.
They are generous
contributors to the collections. Most vocations to religious life
and the priesthood come from these families. It is all to a pastor’s
advantage to encourage his people to abide by God’s plan for spousal
love. It will revolutionize the parish and, in turn, help to
sanctify and save souls.
We priests, and now
Deacon Rick and Jenny Condon, at NFP Outreach are available to help
you get these programs started.
You can reach us at
our website (www. nfpoutreach.org), by phone (405-942-4084),"
or by email
(nfpoutreach@att.net).
■
Fr. Dan McCaffrey,
S.T.D. is the founder and director of NFP Outreach and a priest of
the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City. Fr. Matthew Habiger O.S.B., Ph.D.
is a moral theologian, and a monk at St. Benedict’s Abbey in
Atchison, Kansas.
Fathers McCaffrey and
Habiger criss-cross the country, promoting God’s plan for marriage,
spousal love and family by giving parish missions and NFP Parish
Weekends.
Their website, which includes resources and materials promoting NFP,
is
www.nfpoutreach.org.
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